The DirtyWarmth, the blood moves faster as the energy from the heat of the cup caresses me as I caress it. The carbohydrates sweeten my saliva as I savour that last bite of that cookie in my mouth, to then suddenly notice the raisins wrinkly textures on the roof of my stomatitised mouth.
A Ode to Oatmeal, that isn't really an OdeOatmeal. Oat. Meal.
Oat. Ode, I sing to thee, my pretty.
My one and only cookie
I consume you, like you consume my love.
One oat meal cookie,
Is not enough.
Instructions to Cookie Consumption by someone with ADHD1. Prepare tea (refer to Google).
2. Gather money from the ATM and personal bank account.
3. Put your shoes on.
4. Go to Sainsbury's shop (the closer, the better).
5. Buy Oat Meal Cookies.
6. Eat Oat Meal Cookies.
7. Slap yourself on the head because you've realized you eaten all the cookies by the time you get to your doorstep and there's cold tea on the kitchen desktop.
8. Feel sorry for self.
9. Contemplate the meaning of life for 5... 4... 3... Oh wait, I still have Suits to watch on Netflix.
NihilistYou crumpled me up. Took all I had. I had meaning. I had purpose. And all because you couldn't help yourself you just took it out of me. All of it. Even hung me upside down to take the last remains.
I am not an cookie packet. I am empty.
Jingles for metamorphosing foodO-A-T-Me-Ay-El
I wanna be the heaven in your hell.
Slogans for dummiesOat Meal Cookies
Best served warm and untouched.
The Fear"Look, just do it"
"No. Really, I can't."
"What do you mean you can't?"
"I'm just not..."
"Look, it'll be fine. It'll be over before you know it. I promise"
"No you did this with me last time! I'm not listening to you anymore!"
"What!? You don't trust me, do you? You're just as bad as me!"
"No! It's not that. I just... I don't know"
"Come, on, just here..."
"Urgh, you're the reason I hate myself!"
"Are you joking me!"
"No. I'm done"
"Oh what, give me a break!"
"Oh you want some do you?"
"You live once mate, take it from me"
"Oh... Alright then"
"GO ON SON!"
[Jason with Mageirocophobia, puts hand in the cookie dough]
|Thank You Stewart, the ultimate Toastmaster Extraordinaire, for sharing this with me. |
You are full of ideas worth sharing. #tedxglasgow
APB x ✍